Late night silence

The TV is on, and I can hear myself typing, but that is it. The occasional buzzing of my phone for txts. My head swims in excitement, but not always the good kind. Its just very active. Im scared to say some things that are on my mind. What if its used against me? Doubtful, but what if someone actually reads it. Look, you see that, still with the What Ifs. Its never-ending I tell you.

Please Please whatever you do, I pray you dont use this against me, I am so fragile. Speaking of which, Ive actually been afraid to pray lately. Im a very firm believer in Jesus Christ and his death and resurection. So praying is important, but funny enough, I find it hard. I know a lot of Christians have felt the same too. None of us really want to admit it though. Its not Christian like not to pray, so it seems. I dont care, I have problems just like everyone else.

I should be asleep, I want to sleep, and yet I dont. I want to type and spill my heart of ink out, haha. Im a very metaphorical person too, my grammar sucks sometimes, but I try....aaand sometimes I dont. Again, I dont care at this moment in time. I wrote a poem today, actually a couple, but one I want to share.

Its called....

Miss Misstress

had love 

and she lost it

saw a chance 

and she bought it

had a fling

and she liked it

had a feeling 

and she fights it

found something new and she trashed it

returned and unwrapped it

she thinks about what might happen

gets stuck in the past

thinks this might not last

bounces back and forth like ping pong

been doing this for too long

opens her heart to let it bleed

and doesnt have enough to heal.

I hope it means something to someone, sorry if the font changed. I know it means a lot to me, but thats not always enough. I know it may sound like I want attention, but I just want to be heard, to make a difference somehow. Isnt that what we all want? We all think we can change the world, and we can, we just have to do it Gods way, or we'll just stay stuck like this.

Anyway, tired, so peace out, and I look forward to comments or questions, or anything.