Today I did a lot of things, shopping with Jessa, getting shoes, spending time with my boyfriend, but my feelings today have been so weird. For a little while, I was so content, and felt a happy that was beautiful. When I was with my boyfriend, he makes me feel special and beautiful.
Then there was that foreboding feeling, and the anxiety hit, with memories and residual pain. The anxiety of the past never leaves you if it cuts deep enough. Like I told my boyfriend, most of the time its ok, but sometimes it just comes up. My boyfriend still doesn't know the story, he will soon though I think. I was sad when he left today, just as the anxiety hit, I guess him leaving was part of it. Overall though, I had a good day.
Im scared to put myself out here, cause, despite my uber trusting nature, not all people are trustworthy.....that is why I have the pain I do in my life.
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